Wedding Planning - Party Forum - Learn to Decorate with Tulle & More

jdiaz1081 · Joined: 23 Aug 2005 Posts: 2

I am having a pretty formal wedding and have no children in the wedding party. My fiance and I are also pretty young and do not have children of our own, so we would do not want them at the wedding. We are also serving drinks, so I would find it inappropriate for children. I enclosed an information card with my invitations stating the names of some intown babysitters that have made themselves available on the wedding day, but some guests have decided to not come because they do not feel comfortable leaving their kids with a "stranger." I feel that I have done all that is possilbe to make my wishes clear and accomodate families. Is there something else I should have done or did I do enough by having multiple sitters available?

ncesposito · Joined: 30 Sep 2005 Posts: 8 Location: Burlington, NC

I think that you did a good thing by suggesting local babysitters for out of town guests that have children if you did not wish for children to be at your wedding. You just have to be understand that many parents do not want to leave their kids with anyone that they have never met before even if they come highly reccomended (I have an anal best friend who is like this so I know!).

I am in the same boat as you being 23 and my fiance 25, we have no children, and we are not having any children in our wedding party. However what we decided to do was to allow children to come to the wedding if their parents choose to bring then and have an onsite babysitter in a different room with a TV, coloring books and crayons, snacks, and other board games to keep thier kids occupied while they are enjoying our reception (which also has alcohol).

This is YOUR day and if you and your fiance choose not to include children in it then that is your decision. Do not beat yourself up about it.

CONGRATS!

jennak · Joined: 03 Dec 2005 Posts: 1

Sending info for babysitters is a great idea. I wouldnt have thought of that.

kellton · Joined: 24 Jan 2006 Posts: 1

We chose to hire a few reputable sitters to come onsite and watch the children during the ceremony and reception. That way, the children were close enough that if parents wanted to check on them periodically they could do so. We had snacks and activities for the younger children and ordered pizza and activities for the older children including a pinata. They loved it! And the parents felt good about the arrangement.

tolshcna · Joined: 16 Mar 2006 Posts: 1 Location: Minneapolis, MN

We also decided not to have children at our wedding although most of our close friends have kids- my fiancé is 32 and I’m 28. I thought many people would be unhappy with the idea, but in reality most of our friends (even those from out of town) were able to leave their kids with families. Many of them made a comment to me that they wouldn’t want to have children there anyway because they would like to take full advantage of the event and not worry about leaving early, baby sitting, not being able to drink, etc.
I think you’ve done more than enough by providing names of various sitters. No one can blame you for wanting to have an “adult only” reception, especially since more and more people are leaning towards having this type of receptions for very obvious and valid reasons. It’s your day and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for making this decision! Best of luck to you!

jon1221 · Joined: 19 Apr 2006 Posts: 1

Yeah, kids can cause probs at the wedding but we are going to have a separate room with activities as suggested by an earlier post. Hope it all works out for you.

suddabyp · Joined: 15 Jun 2006 Posts: 2

It is ok to have an all adult wedding if that is what you want. But people who would like to celebrate with you will choose not to attend. Offering babysitting is a good compromise.

imprincess · Joined: 25 Jun 2006 Posts: 1

I think there is nothing wrong with not wanting children at the wedding. I myself have been invited to weddings where I could not bring the kids and was happy to have an excuse to have a "grown up" night. Having said that, if I was invited to an out of town wedding and could not find someone to watch the kids I would chose not to come rather than leave them with a sitter I don't know. BUT I would not be offended and I DO think that by offering people that choice you acted as a very thoughtfull hostess. I think you did the right thing.

jtmoney24 · Joined: 02 Jun 2006 Posts: 2

That was really a great ideal to send in baby sitting information. But you might to consider having an onsite service that would help some of your out of town guest.

Seaislegal · Joined: 23 Feb 2007 Posts: 2

We are in our late 30s and don't have kids and don't want them at the wedding / reception either as it's an evening wedding, with alchohol served, and most of our friends like to enjoy themselves and dance without worrying about kids underfoot. Luckily the majority of our friends have grown kids, or want the 'adult night' out and so have sitters lined up already and never would consider bringing their kids. My only worry was with some of my husband-to-be's friend's from out of town who I have never met, and who have small children. I'd put 'Adult-only reception' which was what some friends who had similar wedding situations suggested on the invite, plus only addressed it to the two parents. I hadn't thought of looking for babysitters, but since we don't have kids and same with most of our friends, we wouldn't know where to start to find a reputable one for the evening. There isn't any room at the place we are having our wedding / reception to have a separate place for kids though. So hopefully the notations on the invitations suffice. And we've sent them out in plenty of advance time such that if they can attend, they have a few months to find someone to watch the kids if they travel out here.

ginalola · Joined: 02 Mar 2007 Posts: 1

I'm with you on not wanting kids at my wedding. My fiance and I are both 33 and do have friends that have kids...but the one thing I've always known is that if I ever got married, there would DEFINITELY not be any kids at my wedding. There's nothing so irritating as having little kids running around on the dance floor! And the idea of having a separate room for them at the reception is ludicrous to me! Don't feel bad, you've done more than enough to accomodate.

AngelGrl · Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 1

We have chosen to have a "daycare" center in a different room at the church for the children that do come to the wedding.
While we are being very specific about the names on the invites, I'm still worried that people will bring their children. I'm worried about the reception I don't really want little kids running around, being loud, AND the cost of food for the children is the same price as an adult... so we don't want to pay $20 a plate for the kids... Any ideas?? My mom thought it would be to tacky to include a note on the invites somewhere that says "no children please".....

tabby · Joined: 26 Mar 2007 Posts: 20

what you did was more than enough Smile

it was actually very considerate and generous of you to provide them with multiple sitters Smile

[url]www.kardella.com
[/url]

sunnshinne105 · Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 1

I agree, no children at the wedding and the babysitting service was a great idea. I am gong to pass it along to my bride-to-be friends. Very Happy

bemarbip · Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 1

Weddings are expensive to begin with, so I think what you did is perfectly alright. Having a list of sitters is a wonderful idea. I remember when I was younger (many moons ago) going to my cousins weddings. My mother had 9 brothers and sisters, and when their children got married all the younger cousins came. Of course this was back when most receptions were held in some little hall in the basement of a building. Decorations were white crepe paper strung across the ceiling along with paper wedding bells for decorations. No floral displays, but there was the obligatory Whiskey sour fountain. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with adults only. Good Luck!